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Tuesday, June 30, 2009
im sorry , life shouldn't be sad , life shouldn't be a nightmare ! theres so much to do in life ! why make it sad , when you can smile ? =) .. Such a sad story based on the happiest girl i've seen , i cant believe , even her . Why is it , that after watching it , i feel so much happier . its like i feel like, i should be so much happier than her. She lost so much in her life , and shes so.. happy . She inspires me so much, i envy her .. even though shes just an anime character. But then, how can i understand ? Shes an anime character , and shes lost soo much more than me , its impossible for a real girl , in reality, to have that fantasy ..but, i wish one day, that i could be treated like a princess, like .. her .. ahahas , probably think im pathetic now. well , i would understand if you do , such a low life , being inspired by an anime girl, but .. its the closest inspiration and understanding i've seen , in a while .. i feel so guilty after watching that, thinking that the worst girl that could ever be alive would be that girl .. but , shes so happy . it amazes me .. & watching it .. just makes me think, like .. why arent we like that ? why are we all complaining , when theres so many people out there , that should be so much sadder than us, and all they want is the world to be way happier . & for that , i envy those people , if i ever meet one , I would ask them .. to teach me the answer is: spring because no matter how much it snows, it will always melt, and when it melts that means theres the sun and spring comes out . page 1, my fairytale .. =) Monday, June 29, 2009 theres this girl i hated since year 7. she keeps saying i've changed i've changed , but actions speak louder than words. Why is she still messing with me. Today I was in geography and then she hit me with the textbook, & its geo, the textbooks are thick . omg , it hurt soo mcuh , i started to cry, but it was only because she hit me. The teacher told me to move cause i didnt do anything, when i was FUCKING crying , shes so FUCKING blind , fucking subs . == . and only one of my friends saw it , though she couldnt do anything and i knew that. she offered me a tissue though :D , FREAKING i didnt cry just because she hit me with it, it was because .. i thought to myself .. i can't believe no one saw that. & realised that, so many people get hurt in front of your face , or just in the same room, but you dont realise. Not at all, you only notice when it prevents you from doing something. But , why ? why cant people see, your achingg . Maybe they can, but cant do anything ? , whatever it is . i dont care anymore .. & what pissed me off the most , was when i started telling her off after class , and she denied it , and started running away from the situation. She couldnt even stand up for herself , or face up to it. She's just trying to look cool. fucking tb kunt . i hater her for life , no matter what , once a bitch always a bitch. page 7, my fairytales breaking again .. Sunday, June 28, 2009 Why am I alive ? Do i even deserve to be ? Was I an accident ? I feel like im useless , what have i even done in my life ? Im not useful at all , doesnt that make me useless ? & even when i can do something for someone , they make me feel like im so important for one second and then go away with their lives the next minute . Their using me , but , i don't stop them , because knowing they're so dependent on me, i feel like im so special , even though i know they'll go in a minute , but at least the feeling will last longer. & at times , they know im so slow, so they do it quick before i realise whats happening. If this is why i live, whats the point ? they'll just find another me, and use them. I can't play the same game, because they wont let. why am i so generous,i fall for them so easily, and they keep lieing , .. page 6, my breaking fairytale.. Friday, June 26, 2009 It's funny how just those little things that girls get from a guy mean so much to them. & the funny thing , guys dont get it . If all guys were like that , girls would be so much happier , and maybe, it'll be possible for those dreams in girls heads to be true. & its funny when they don't know why we're so happy about it , and you keep saying thankyouu to them and hug them until you think its enough , but you still think he deserves more. If only guys understood, but they just don't . Have you ever thought that you had a 50% chance of being a guy , & if you were a guy , your world and mind would be dota , mt , boobs & porn. which is sooo weird when you think about it. Compare that mind, to yours now , 50% chance , and your life wouldve been totally different .. well, today james bought me & michh , T & CO NECKLACES , >< omg so happy . but he didnt get why we were at the shop looking at jewellery for half an hour . xD <3 page 5, my fairytales healing. Thursday, June 25, 2009 Am i spoilt ? , am i honestly ? , i dont know .. but whenever people say it , i feel like they dont even know half of my world , how could they judge me ? Just because i go shopping and i get most things i like, doesnt mean that I can do wahtever , chuck my clothes around , do whatever i want. how could they call me spoilt ? when .. all i really want is my life back on track , & nothing on my shoulders , and all i have to care about is nothing . not anyone else , not anything else , but me . But i take care of so many things that i've done, those mistakes I tried to solve . they still call me spoilt .. , " omgosh helen , but seriously , you are spoilt ." I almost cried on the way home, thinking that people know me, but honestly , they're not even close . I dont tell them anything bad , i always tell them the good stuff in my life , maybe thats why they think im spoilt ? but , arent you suppose to only say something thats good anyway ? , good news is always better than bad , & if i did say all the bad stuff in my life , It'll run out and then they'll probably think I'm so up with my self , and just because i know they dont have what i have , doesnt me she doesnt hav what i want . she has so many things but , she thinks her life is "such a disaster" just because its not the life she wants . I don't want this life , but its life , its not suppose to be expected . nothing is . but she just keeps saying my life is like hell , omgosh you cant replace me for one second i take care of the house and all that crap . well guess what , at least your problems arent as worse as mine , just because you have more , doesnt mean they're sooo effective . it's just cos, i cover up so well , with my laughs and makeup , they think my life is always rainbows and butterflies . well guess what ? it's not . page 4, my breaking fairytale Tuesday, June 23, 2009 me and jayne has some d&m , I never knew that i'll actually one day understand the way she likes men . =/ .. pretty strange it took a year and a half :L . i always get played but its never my turn, i wanna play too . its not fair .. crash and burn - elise estrada page 3, my breaking fairytale Monday, June 22, 2009 Sighh , I feel so dependent , watching everyday go by, I'd rather be alone, than be with someone that I get annoyed with for a whole day. I was on the bus to city by myself ,again .. so many couples .. >< . Don't you ever feel like you miss him , or anyone . but , you cant do anything about it.. I just want someone to be next to me or even feel like they're next to me 24/7 , and have that feeling .. T^T , yeahh ? because I do .. page 2 of my breaking fairytale Sunday, June 21, 2009 I've decided , starting from now , that this blog, will become a fairytale, not a blogger/diary , not a journal , but my version of my everday life into a fairytale . Me , in my shoes , me inside out , me with no other faces . beware .. "Is this a new start ?, Or just another chapter ?" page 1 ,my breaking fairytale . don't you hate it when you really really like someone , and then he just says , it cant happen , though he lead you on . He makes you like him, but knows he doesnt want to be in a relationship . "Its just another girls heart, dw just lead her on, and leave her right before you get too close ." page 4 fairytale woke up today , had nothing to do , AT ALL , == then remmeberd sheila wanted to go out today , i called her at 9:30 , no one picks up , guess shes still sleeping == , well , i wake up and i hav tutor , & im late again =) . sigh , mums pissd . i went to tutor, and realises theirs a test today, how fun ? == well , afterwards mum picks me up i get ready and meet her at marrickville. sigh shes late , i might as well go to her house . i called her and shes lik im coming im coming , and im outside still waiting for her to come out while she thinks im blind at marickville station . 15 minutes later she comes out, i was gonner scare her until i heard a mans voice with her, *in my head - DAMM , freaking cant scare her now , or her dad or something would freak out == , * come out. heyy , freaking late much ? sheila* WOAH where did you come from , uncle* ahahas , that was fast . i give her the biggest , your PRETTY late face , == . we go city , and im expecting to go shopping for clothes and more :D , and we end up going for textile shopping , at lincraft for fucking 2 HOURS == , sigh , such a waste of a day , oh welps , we had good laughs and good updates =) . x) , went to city with $30 coming home with $20 , good good =) , before the end of the day we go to visit larry at maccas , he's working and sheilas telling him to come out , WTF ? shes a sped == . managers staring at her ,and she realises and turns around to me with the biggest "fuck. " face . :L , manager thinks shes checking him out since she keeps looking at him xD , and shes jst like to me , the fucking manager wont stop looking at me ! , and he thinks im checking him out ,but im just waiting for him not to look at me so i can talk to larry == , :L , we left , sheila doesnt wanna get busteedd , and has to be home , and larry says he can come otu at 7 , pshht , sheila still wants him to come out , so she can say "hi " == , freaking sped . well , that was today , pretty hilarious x) , page 3 fairytaile , Saturday, June 20, 2009 OMG , the dinner dance was effingg awesome ! Hot girls ;) but no men =( , there were but, they were 8 =) ! soo CUTE , we took luvos xD . my WHOLE table werent wearing heels , and guess who was the odd one out ! D: , they were amazed at how i could walk in them ? oO" Shirley left early , so we took her out , me & jayne went past HOT GUYS in the other room ! drools* we shouldve talked to them ! T^T . regrets ==" well , afterwards food kept coming , and then we saw FUTURE NAIDA x) i swear , she looks EXACTLY like naida ! we took stalker pictures :D , though its in my phone , cant upload >.> , then i saw this woman that looked like a GORILLA ! she had the face and everything ! omg me and jayne had great laughs ! we went to the toilet for luvos , and i went out the quick exit , and jayne went to the further one , the waitress said to her , hi ;) , and he was old ! like in his twentys ? and jayne just replied , and stormed out ! he had a tatt on his leg and neck , fuly gangsterr . LOL , when i was leaving then two guys approached to me, asking me to escort them in secretly . I hesitated and sighed , though it was almost finished i took them in, they told me they were from melbourne looking for girls xD . I left them to my table and jaynes just giving me this biggest WTF face x) . well , how bad can it be ? i took him there when everyone was leaving . =) , they asked for it . I wonder what they're doing now . :L they weren't that hot anyways .. page 2 fairytale , =) this is my neverendingbreakingfairytale . i hope it wont end ! :L hmms , lets see how long i'll stop using it . freakingg naida and her blog , full convince me to make one of these , JOKES . :) her blog is so persuasive though T^T . well , i guess this is the start . :) - - - well, today i woke up, my phone fell , made the first scratch . == looked at my calendar , and its shirley& jaynes "dinner dance" today =) ft. julies farewell . asif ill dog their dinner dance :) , so i decide to go to shirley & jaynes thing =) . THERES FOOD >=] / what about free water ? =S , we'll see . sighh bored at home , nothing to do , until 6:30 == . i decide to get ready at 1 , started to paint my nails =) , i always make them black , decided to make them pink today :D , ahahs , so random. looks weird on me but the colours pretty . its lik 3:30 and im still doing my nails , i keep knocking them , scratching them , and lik smudging or something == . no filer , sigh . havent picked my dress , i hav two options =) because naida still has my other one , == .. well . im finishd with first post of my blog :D , page 1 of my fairytale , |
HELENBBY♥ " Everything has a reason," cbox the sites. shirley naida sarah jayne kai(music) ♥ June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 June 2010 September 2010 October 2010 April 2011 June 2011 July 2011 June 2016 imeem . 1 song Playing ♥ worlds apart by The Veronicas Designer : Chili. x o x o |