Thursday, February 25, 2010
please kill me ..you think you know everything .. WELL YOU KNOW WHAT . you don't you think you know what i'm thinking . the way i act . etc etc . you can't judge my friends . you dont even know them . you can't assume what i think and how i act . you dont even know ANYTHING about me . DONT FUCKING JUDGE ME . and you know what ? IF YOU WANT ALL YOUR SORRYS AND THANKYOUS HERE . HAVE THEM I DONT FUCKING CARE . IM SORRY OKAY ? AND IM THANKFUL OKAY ? WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME ? WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE .. do you need a please ? leave me alone ... thats all i want . if i make such a stress for you & i am so much trouble leave me alone .. don't you think i care ? why do you think im so stupid ? why do you think i DONT CARE . fucking hell . stop assuming me , and my life . i dont need someone to decide my descisions . i can stand up for myself i can speak for myself . jsut cos im young . doesnt mean , i cant take care of myself . you don't know ANYTHING about me . so stop underestimating me , when you don't even understand my own pain .. just because i wake up happy get through the day great . and go home fine . doesn't mean i am .. i do it .. so people don't worry about me .. make excuses , lies , everything is for everyone .. i can .. survive my life , if i made it this life .. so let me be me and leave me alone , if you want less stress etc . leeave me alone .. i havent dated for so long .. i forgot how it felt .. to have someone always there ! even when your alone .. you knwo theres that SOMEONE .. :( sighh .. i dont even remember how it feels how can i even miss it ? like seriously .. im trying to think so hard .. on how it felt .. but all i remember is jst having someone .. there . always . i miss .. saying i love you . to someone i actually loved . holding hands while your going out .. looking in each others eyes .. knowing they're yours .. i miss it all .. sigh .. when do i get it back . all of it .. please ? is it that hard .. when somebody else can get it in less than a month .. sigh . xx Tuesday, February 23, 2010 i keep saying . dont worry about love, just wait for it to come to you . well . i just realised how hard it is to do that when you want something . as in , to stand back and just watch it go right pass your face , when all you want to do is grab it & runaway . it sucks i mean , now i'm thinking , if you sit back waiting for something , your not going to go that far in life .. actually , probably no where . but , chasing for love isnt going to help either . just going to hurt even more . because.. chasing someone .. your just going to get tired of chasing , & vice versa . but .. sometimes , we dont have options, sighh .. i dread people that brag about how much their bf is annoying them etc . DUMP HIM THEN , geez . stop complaining and do something, i mean , its so greedy and spoilt . or STUPID . if you pick a guy your just gonner hav fights and all during your relationship. .. sigh .. oh welp .. i'm so use to waiting .. that, when it comes to chasing , i'm head over heels . i feel so blind sometimes , or .. stupid . either one is fine . i'm stuck between my fantasies and what is real .. should i live reality and wait for that guy that loves me , or go for my fantasies trying to get every guy I like to like me .. pshht . both .. fucking retarted xx Saturday, February 20, 2010 i dont understand anymore .. what do i want ? im so .. annoying . i can't decide . and why do i always think AFTER i do something .. == i'm such an idiot . i'm like fucking delayed . after a while im like , oh fuck . == but i can't do anything about it cos its like PAST the moment . == sighh . gay gay gaaaaaaaaaaaay . don't worry about meeee . :L:L , fucking dumb kunt . when everything was a want .. i realised it was a need . i need the things i want .. yet .. it doesnt feel like i need it , butt .. when you don't have it .. thats when you realise .. you never wanted it .. you always needed it , but you never thought it would've mattered. blehh , so stupid . but .. i dont get it .. by it i mean , me . i realise things that was always undermynose. i just never saw it .. how could i have remembered there was something there .. something .. that never showed up .. until .. it did . it came back . but . what came back ? == making stupid thoughts. AHHAS . how stupid of me . omg , now i jst sound like a bimbo . i'm afraid of love . todayy .. i thought .. do i really like him .. if i do , why ? does he ? will it last ? has it ended before it evn started ? so many questions , with no answers , i know theres no answer book . but .. i need , a love , i can trust , without myself knowing , that he has all of me . he has .. my heart . he is my world . xx Friday, February 19, 2010 todayy , i did a good deed . for what ? so you can shove it in my face that your cool ? alright then . i meann today was sooo shit . dayy out ; presentation day was soooo boring . we went to town hall square for it . made us look highroller but . OMG , ALL I HEAR IS LA LA LAALLALA . fcukk . people saying words . == wasted 3 hours of my life . capps FUCKING FAILEd . FUCKING HELL . we were looking forward for a group photo FOR ONCE . FOR LIKE THE WHOLE WEEK . FUCKK , and you know what ? FUCKING , MACHINE DIDNT WORK , we didnt get the caps we wanted and so .. we didnt end up GETTING A PICTURE ? wtf ????????!?!??!?! just our money back , but " there are some things , money can't buy . " HELLLLLLO , DO THEY LIKE NOT GET THE FACT ? IT WAS MEMORIES , THAT WE COULD NOT OBTAIN ANYMORE ???! FCKK , cos half the group went home already , showw . ( k ) that was good :) nothing wrong . galaxy world FUCKING MACHINE ! far out , I USED $4 ON THE THINGY THAT JEREMY PLAYS . AND NEVER PASSD THE FIRST ROUND . >=[ THEN I SPENT $2 ON THE GAMBLING THINGYs . ARAEKJFSLKDJFLKSDJF FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT . DDIEe . then the alarm went off .. i dotn know why .. BUT THEN RUINED ANNABEL'S ATTEMPT TO PLAY . freraking machine ADfldksjfskldj :@ movie bar . it was okaay ? not THAT good .. finding a restaurant == took us literally . an hour . DECIDING for a nice place to eat in city :) sdfhklsdjflkdsjlkjsdlkf THE RESTAURANT :@:@ WHEN we went into the restaurant we were lik FINALLY . OMGGg . 40 minutes later . WHERE THE FUCK IS OUR FOOD ? & the waitress is like we're getting your food now . its arleady done so dont wrory ! Jessie gets her food . and me and katie are waiting for ours . katie gets hers ten minutes later . and then after ME waiting extra ten minutes for MY food . SHE GOES TO ME , sorry we don't have it , would you like to pick another one ? FUCKING HELL . WTF ??! THIS IS FUCKING BULLL FUCKING SHIT . sighh . A:sdflksdjflkdsfkldsj we trashed the place so they could clean it and shit . then lindy katie and jessie was planning to leg it . but i didnt really want to .. not after eating their food . and they apologised for the wait and shit .. :/ but .. iono .. i felt slack in doing it , so when they ran .. i decided to stay and pay for it . but then katie saw me , and ran up to me , and stayed with me , " thannnnkyou :) anyways . she payed me back .. but i had a guilt in accepting it .. bcos she couldve had a free meal . and yeh .. i feel responsible .. met up with jessie and lindy we met up with them , & the first thing they askd was , did we pay for it ? katie replys well helen did . and lindy reacts to it like it was bad .. and punches me i got so pissd . cos it wasnt the joking punch , IT WAS SO HARD . and WTF ? i get a punch for doing something right ? JST COS YOU ACTED FUCKING COOL . DOESNT MEAN YOU FUCKING PUNCH ME . there are a specific time and place for when you refuse the rules .. and i didnt want to at that time . ALRIGHT ? sorry for paying for it , FUCK . fucking . . nitm for it now , fucking cbf . i mean , shes jst acting fucking cool .. fucking..sakl jdklasjdklsj I CANT BE FUCKD EXpLANIG .dslkfjhskldfj xx Thursday, February 4, 2010 just erased everything i was going to write . with the thought of WTF ? im saying things over and over again . its pointless , am i that slow :L i shouldnt care right ? thats what i say to myself everyday . aHAHS nooooooot workkkking , im confused now , thought .. wait , now im asuming , thats as worse , OKAY , not gonner assume . SHOULDN'T ASSUME ANYWAYS . makes an ass out of u and me hahas , learnt that off a teacher x) .... kill me . people say the things we want aren't the things we need , LOLS , well i think , if you didn't need them , why would you want them ? LOLS i guess thats like clothes and shit . should i .. should i .. .. blehh who cares . shouldn't be caring about this at my age ! ARGHH , hahas kill me . or save me , cos it's killing me .. I WANT TO SCREEEEEEEEEEEAM , but , whos gonner hear me ? LOLS , "me , me , me " psht , im so selfish , all about me , never think about others , ALRIGHT ALRIGHT , but give me reasonnnns . answerrrrrrrs anythingggggg , == LOLS , if only fantasies were real ! :( wouldnt everything be soo easy ! ahas , gnaw its raining , great :L , but .. why is rain depressing when .. it signifies refreshment . fresh start . ahahs , how ironic . well "don't regret anything that made you smile .." thats all i need to remember , :) xx Wednesday, February 3, 2010 OMG , I HATE IT , i was on facebook looking at group pages thingys . & went pass "i wasted my life liking you." well something like that , ALL OF THEM , on the comments , "i fell in love with this guy in my class " "i fell in love with this girl for blah blah years . " LIKE , how do you know what love is anyways ? isn't it just a word ? I SWEAR IT IS , as if anyone ACUTALLY knows what love is . its .. not the same for everybody anyways , they just "believe" it's love , or saying it for fun .. pshht . people these days . .. they don't know anything . - - - - OMG , THEN I SAW THIS GIRL COMMENT ON THAT PAGE , " i'm only 12 so .. adults please don't judge there was this guy i liked we were playing truth or dare . OMG , cos people were daring people to kiss me on the cheeks and it was my 6th time already ! then i got a dare from the guy i like ! to kiss on my lip for 5 SECONDS , OMG , i don't think i like the other guy i had liked .. :/ hmm , omg FIRST KISS , well , its truth or dare does it count . :) well adults , please don't judge, i'm 12 , well in may :) " FARR NO ONE CARES ! ITS YEAR 6 , CHUCK A CRYYYYYY . farrr , kids these days .. weirdos . == - - - - LOLS , just got informed yday , THAT MY LiL COUSIN HAD AN EX , then realised it was lik a week or day .. LOLS , saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad . the reasons were sad to , well one was sad , the other she said it sad , hmm , she wouldnt tell me properly , maybe because , she doesn't want to let it out :L . ohhhh welps . its weird , she has the same exs as me .. == and shes younger , AND ITS WEIRD . .. SIGHHHHHHHHHH new gens , and their hormones . tut tut . - - - - don't you love hearing lies when you know the truth , its like .. insulting themselves or something , or like, they're wasting they're time , talking to you AHAHAs , with their pointlesss breath and voice . i love the feeling , knowing more than the other >=] i amm soo evil ! - - - - - ohh and i failed being germ free , ILL BE GERM FREE NXT YEAR :) AHAHS , i wanted to try a resolution other than .. update book do homework etc etc . so decided to try being germfree , sighh , no one reminds me anymore == :L:L so i gave up . - - - - - ohh , and tomorrow , i'm going to try something >=] going to see , if i could like not talk like not as in not a word pshht, thats stupid, like .. you see how in a conversation . theres the speaker , & the rest . i'm going to try , being "the rest " for .. a week ! :D hmm , so .. i shall TRY , ill blog these days to keep track :L , it'll be hard , BUT ILL TRY (Y) & thats alll that matters 8) . hahas , if i can do it for week , than i can do it for a month , and stretch stretch , to a lifetime 8) teeee heee , doing this , cos i find myself annoying (A) :L nahh , not ANNOYING , theres reasons ,but , oh welps . good luck to me 8) xx Tuesday, February 2, 2010 naida is gay , & mandi's okay , mandi has no net , & waiting for her eyes to set . naida is lazy , sitting by herself dazing . bored to the daaaaaaayys ! :L & btw , naida is gay 8) xx |
HELENBBY♥ " Everything has a reason," cbox the sites. shirley naida sarah jayne kai(music) ♥ June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 June 2010 September 2010 October 2010 April 2011 June 2011 July 2011 June 2016 imeem . 1 song Playing ♥ worlds apart by The Veronicas Designer : Chili. x o x o |